Melissaraeby

Well, Monday was the first day of my “new me” journey.  I did pretty well.  I took my nephew for a walk (he’s a 130 pound 18 month old Great Dane).  I ate well, snacked well, and I even found time to excercise.  You should have seen me!  I work  as a deposit’s clerk.  Which basically means I sit in seclusion for most of my shift behind two security doors.   So, I took that opportunity to excercise.  No one could see me (except for the live feed corporate gets from all the cameras!).  So, I went and grabbed a bag of $100 in quarters and went to town on some arm excercises.  I’m sure anyone who could see me would have cracked up laughing, but I didn’t care.  So, I went to bed Monday night feeling pretty good about the day.

Then Tuesday morning rolled around, and my husband desides to take a day off of work!  Well, I love my husband, and I love spending time with him.  But, it completly screwed up my schedule for the day.  We spent most of the day running around doing errands, and then we ended up eating fast food for lunch!  I was not happy about it, but I did enjoy eating it!  So, because I felt so guilty for my bad eating habits, my negative thoughts about myself starting creeping back up.  But, today is a new day! And, I hope that when I go to sleep tonight I will be proud of the choices I’ve made today!

I know what is making me fat!  I  don’t get much sleep, so then I lay in bed all day.  When I am awake I either have a headache, or I’m degrading myself in my head (saying things like, “Get up, lazy, fat, incapible lady!  You call yourself a wife and mother?  What a joke!).  There is a lot of depression in my family.  I don’t want to be on pills, but I just can’t seem to get up and do anything!  I’m hoping that this sight will help me!  I need someone to insist that I meet goals.  I pretty much do what ever I want, with no accountability.  HELP!

I’ve never really been serious about excersing or healthy eating habits.  My mom never focused on it at all.  I think she was just worrried that talking about it would cause us to have an eating disorder!  So, anyway.  I’m 31 now, and I’m not getting any younger.  I have two beautiful children that I want to set a good example for.  I’ve never been severly over weight.  Just in the past say 3-5 years I’ve steadily put on about 5 to 10 pounds a year, and now I’m frusterated.  When I got this link for this page in my email today, I almost started to cry!  I need to get my health in order.  And, I need all the help, support, motivation, and accountability I can get!  That’s the big one, ACCOUNTABILITY!  Any advise!